DISCIPLINE STYLES. I must have 30 ways of diciplining my children and employees. It could have worked better if I only took the patience to explain what was the latest style. Some relatives even hated me for my Hitler-styles. Some former employees who became abusive because of my softy, democratic style that I had to FIRE them are now my competitors; and have become very successful because they left saying in their mind : " I'll show you!" When I think about this, I give myself a nice warm smile and hope that their ego didn't take these too personally . One thing is for sure, I did not take any of them personally. I did these because I truly loved them and did these only to people that I liked. I NEVER COULD HAVE DONE these
to strangers!!!

PRIDE AND SUICIDE ARE INSEPARABLE. i had a few acquaintances who had committed actual and literal (unknowingly, through bad habits) suicide. All of them, without exception were very nice human beings. All of them had the common belief that everything in their life and other people's lives were centered on them. Their fat intellects made them truly believe that there was nothing more meaningful beyond themselves and that their happiness ONLY depended on themselves. Finally, they thought that to end the unhappiness was to put an end to the self.
i DON'T have to prove my point by citing statistics that show higher incidences occured in the intellectual or highly educated groups and less in the physical/manual type of individuals. From these stats we can say that pride is just a fictitious creature of the intellect. By the way, the intellect is far from what we commonly think as THE MIND. The intellect is just a small physical fragment of the BRAIN which I think is NOT even WHERE most of the MIND is. If you think you have or are developing this problem, please be humble enough to ask for confidential help.

$1 MILLION REWARD TO THE WINNER WHO CAN EXPLAIN THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. I used to cook lunch for my construction workers specially for those who looked malnourished and I noticed that these same people were the easiest to abuse me by stealing my tools, late, absent, bad work, etc. Is this the same reason why Judas betrayed Jesus because HE washed his dirty, ugly, disgusting,gangrenous feet?

HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER. When I was young, I was proud enough that I was ALWAYS disobeying my parents on those seemingly small, inconsequential things. Little did I know later on that this HABIT OF DISOBEYING was the culprit in totally MESSING ME UP; and it took me about 30 years to UNMESS myself up. The ten commandments should be re-titled "The Ten Highly Recommended Suggestions to a Painless Way of Living". I thought that the commandments were just a way of pleasing God. Now I am wiser to know that God is everything and don't need to be pleased by earthlings like me; He has got everything so that these 10 advices were really meant for the benefit of human beings.

How do I talk to myself? Last Sunday I got a ticket for speeding. I now look back at around that time that I was speeding what was in my mind and how I was communicating it to myself. I analyzed it this way : I was about to show some houses to a customer when I realized that I did not have my lockbox key. I looked for it in vain. Now I was telling myself that I WILL BE LATE!! My next move was to borrow Patrick's lockbox who I estimated was 20 minutes away. All the time I was telling myself: YOU ARE LATE!!! (IT WAS ALREADY 3:00 PM which was our appointed time with the customer). That incessant self-talk of 'YOU ARE LATE' MADE ME SPEED AND GET THE TICKET. All of these was in addition to all the stress that I was already putting on myself. Next time I will try very hard to catch myself talking to me like so.

GARDENING . This morning Lily and I did some gardening together. After kneeling on the hard ground, dirtying my clothes and hands, sweating it out, I never felt so good. I get the same feeling when I am building or fixing old houses. I guess man was made to create more than to scheme or think. It's very hard to get some fulfillment from scheming or thinking when I'm selling or listing homes. Also when I was separating and transplanting this morning, I noticed that I never got DISTRACTED. MY FOCUS WAS 100% which was not always the case with the other things that I do. I was in my element. With plants I felt very responsible caring for them because each one is irreplaceable. If I break some floor tiles while renovating a kitchen floor, I know I can always get some replacements for exactly the same size and color, but not with a plant. If I broke it, that's it- no replacement. This leads me to feeling very close to the ONE WHO MADE IT- I could really feel how AWESOME HE/SHE MUST BE just being with HIS first- hand creations

EMPTYNESTERS
My son Carlo moved into his NY apartment last week and now it's just my wife and I living in the house. I have this mixed feeling of being happy that my children are now on their own and trying to be independent but still being concerned about small things like : Are they eating the right foods, having enough exercise and rest, etc. I read a book that said that my children are just "guests" who were always our equal even when they were still young and that they were the ones who PICKED OUT THEIR PARENTS. If this were true, then that is probably why I learned so much from them, even when they were still young. Also, Lily and I agreed that we shall never push them out of the house no matter how long it takes which is how one would treat a guest.

PROCRASTINATION (Aug.6) I have not done my blog the last few days thinking that I could easily catch up with my daily commitment to myself. Now I am realizing that it's seem harder to become spontaneous in writing, the longer I procrastinate. I noticed that my alibis come first before I finally decide to put off doing something. So next time the first alibi comes to my mind, I know that I should do it right away.
This early morning, I called my dad to get all his relatives' names and I am surprized that he only remembers a few of them. He told me that most of them were farmers and of the 7 uncles and aunts, only his dad (my granddad Luis) was educated at a seminary in Vigan Ilocos Sur. Luis was the first English teacher in their town. I remember him a few years before he died that he was a very mild mannered man who smoked cigars and every time that he visited us, he always read to us some nice childrens' books. He died of cirhhosis of the liver from drinking too much alcohol specially in those times when he was involved in town politics. I have no recollection of my grandma except of the few times that I visited her, she was always sick. I was at their deathbeds when they died.